Monday, December 29, 2008
New Years Resolutions
I have been thinking for a while now about new years resolutions. I didnt set any last year cuz well last year totally sucked in so many ways. Anyone who really knows me knows why...that would be you Scott and Aly ;). So this year I want to set some that I can actually reach and feel good about. So here goes:
Financially - keep track of my spending and keep a check book register balencing it once a month at least. Also get $1000 in savings by the end of the year.
Physically - start taking a yoga class. At least try it out and see if it is something I want to continue with. Try it for 2 months
Spiritually - Read Book of Mormon AND D&C. Use study guide with D&C
Professionally - Finish my Masters (or at least be on track to finish by Feb 2010).
Family - Have FHE 90% of the weeks which is at least 46 out of 52 weeks this year. Also have Fam Scrip study 85% of the time ( 310 days) and family prayer 95% of the time (2 prayers a day x 365 days / .95 = 694 prayers WOW )
also - one family activity a month and one family vacation this year
Kids - establish a regular routine of spending individual time with each child on a regular basis.
Misc - Finish the basement and get boys moved down there
- Find a Husband (ok well we have to throw one in there for fun....I guess it is just for me anyway, its not like anyone else ever reads this LOL)
Gonna talk to the kids about thier goals and post them too just so we have somewhere that it is all written down and we can see it next year!
Financially - keep track of my spending and keep a check book register balencing it once a month at least. Also get $1000 in savings by the end of the year.
Physically - start taking a yoga class. At least try it out and see if it is something I want to continue with. Try it for 2 months
Spiritually - Read Book of Mormon AND D&C. Use study guide with D&C
Professionally - Finish my Masters (or at least be on track to finish by Feb 2010).
Family - Have FHE 90% of the weeks which is at least 46 out of 52 weeks this year. Also have Fam Scrip study 85% of the time ( 310 days) and family prayer 95% of the time (2 prayers a day x 365 days / .95 = 694 prayers WOW )
also - one family activity a month and one family vacation this year
Kids - establish a regular routine of spending individual time with each child on a regular basis.
Misc - Finish the basement and get boys moved down there
- Find a Husband (ok well we have to throw one in there for fun....I guess it is just for me anyway, its not like anyone else ever reads this LOL)
Gonna talk to the kids about thier goals and post them too just so we have somewhere that it is all written down and we can see it next year!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday again :(
Well it is Sunday once again and once again I feel like total crap. Sunday used to be my favorite day of the week and I absolutely loved goin to church. I loved the feeling of belonging, and the company and learning about our Lord and Savior. I loved the way I felt. But ever since the divorce and subsequent events, it has gotten harder and harder to wanna get out of bed on Sundays. It was one of the more bizzarre experiences of my life to attend church after getting a divorce. I all of the sudden did not belong. It was not anything anyone did or said. I guess it was what wasnt said and what wasnt done. Dont get me wrong- the people in my ward are AMAZING! Some of the best people you will ever meet, and the ward as a whole is incredible. I could not ask for more support or kindness than has been shown in my ward. It just became very awkward. I think no one knew what to say. No one wanted to say anything about it. I really wanted to talk about it - and sometimes still do, but I think it just makes everyone feel so uncomfortable. Maybe they dont know whether to say congratualations or condolences. I have tried to just make light of my situation, hoping that if others see that I am comfortable with everything they will be too, but it seems to just make everyone more uncomfortable. So now I just dont say anything.
The lessons are great. But everything in the church is geared towards families - and it should be. That is the way things SHOULD be. But for me they are not. The most difficult are the lessons on marriage and how to make relationships work. They ALWAYS bring up how horrible it is to get a divorce. When they do I want to scream that they dont understand! I know that it is not directed at me. I know that if I was talking to them one on one they would never condemn me for my situation (well most wouldnt although I wonder about some). At the same time however I wish that they would realize NOBODY wants to be divorced. No person I have met wants to be in this situation. I do agree that divorce is all to often a solution that is to readily available, and most divorces can and should be avoided. I think if a couple could experience life as a single person for a month they would try a little harder. The only thing in this world I can imagine being more difficult than a single parent, it being married to someone who didnt realize he was married. As difficult as it is at times I am still happier than I was at most points in my 15 years of marriage.
I just keep hoping that someday Sundays will be what they used to be. That on Sundays I will be able to find refuge from the world. As it is now I find refuge from Sunday during the week. Why do I still go??? Well I guess it is because at the end of it all the Gospel is still true and we are commanded to attend our meetings. I go to show my dedication to the Gospel, to keep my covenants, and to sacrifice three hours of my week in worshiping my Savior no matter how difficult it may be. Life is hard sometimes, especially on Sundays.
The lessons are great. But everything in the church is geared towards families - and it should be. That is the way things SHOULD be. But for me they are not. The most difficult are the lessons on marriage and how to make relationships work. They ALWAYS bring up how horrible it is to get a divorce. When they do I want to scream that they dont understand! I know that it is not directed at me. I know that if I was talking to them one on one they would never condemn me for my situation (well most wouldnt although I wonder about some). At the same time however I wish that they would realize NOBODY wants to be divorced. No person I have met wants to be in this situation. I do agree that divorce is all to often a solution that is to readily available, and most divorces can and should be avoided. I think if a couple could experience life as a single person for a month they would try a little harder. The only thing in this world I can imagine being more difficult than a single parent, it being married to someone who didnt realize he was married. As difficult as it is at times I am still happier than I was at most points in my 15 years of marriage.
I just keep hoping that someday Sundays will be what they used to be. That on Sundays I will be able to find refuge from the world. As it is now I find refuge from Sunday during the week. Why do I still go??? Well I guess it is because at the end of it all the Gospel is still true and we are commanded to attend our meetings. I go to show my dedication to the Gospel, to keep my covenants, and to sacrifice three hours of my week in worshiping my Savior no matter how difficult it may be. Life is hard sometimes, especially on Sundays.
Friday, December 26, 2008
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT - FINALLY!
Well we finally made it through Christmas -whew! Hunter and I stayed up until 4am wrapping presents and watchin Eagle Eye. I mostly wrapped and Hunter mostly watched the movie. Hunter did put Jaxon's bike together and most all of it stayed together once Max started riding it :). Only the seat continues to fall off. Not bad considering he did it all w/out a wrench. As we finally started to head upstairs about 4am, who should we meet but Tanner on his way down! I told him I didnt care if he stayed up but I was going to sleep for a while. Finally about 5:30 they came in and woke me up so I went down and we opened presents. It must have been the year of gratitude (for some other family). Jaxon cried cuz he wanted a red car not a gold one, and it just wasnt fair that Savannah got a movie and no one else did. Oh but wait....Savannah kept asking why oh why she got Indiana Jones???? In the end though, after everything was opened, all the kids were happy with what they got and was playing happily. Coll and Max had a great time makin new Ben Ten monsters and riding thier bikes all over the house. Tanner has had his headphones in constantly listing to music on his new mp3 player. Miranda is still experimenting with make up (she looks older every day). Savannah's baby keeps on singing and asking to go potty. Hunter - well he took his box of twinkies (the only present he asked for) and went back to bed.
I finally got back up around 2:30 and didnt do much but try and wade through what looked like a bomb had gone off in Santa's workshop. We finally found everyone in the mess and went up to Grandma and Grandpa's. Hunter refused to put the soap in Grandma's bathroom even though EVERYONE asked him to ;) After hangin around there for a while we braved the worst storm of the year and headed home. We drove 25 mph all the way home on the freeway cuz the roads were so bad! We finally got home and decided to watch Twilight. Everyone fell asleep within about 30 min. Coll was the first to go with a candy cane still in his mouth! After all was said and done it was a great Christmas.
The kindness and generosity of our ward memebers is amazing! Someone left a basket on our doorstep with gift certificates galore! We are going to go bowling, swimming, and so many other things. It was all I could do not to sit and cry. It has been so long since we have been able to go do fun things as a family, and this kindness is heaven sent. Who ever the Christmas Angel was - THANK YOU! It has renewed my determination to finish school and be able to return the favor, helping other.
I finally got back up around 2:30 and didnt do much but try and wade through what looked like a bomb had gone off in Santa's workshop. We finally found everyone in the mess and went up to Grandma and Grandpa's. Hunter refused to put the soap in Grandma's bathroom even though EVERYONE asked him to ;) After hangin around there for a while we braved the worst storm of the year and headed home. We drove 25 mph all the way home on the freeway cuz the roads were so bad! We finally got home and decided to watch Twilight. Everyone fell asleep within about 30 min. Coll was the first to go with a candy cane still in his mouth! After all was said and done it was a great Christmas.
The kindness and generosity of our ward memebers is amazing! Someone left a basket on our doorstep with gift certificates galore! We are going to go bowling, swimming, and so many other things. It was all I could do not to sit and cry. It has been so long since we have been able to go do fun things as a family, and this kindness is heaven sent. Who ever the Christmas Angel was - THANK YOU! It has renewed my determination to finish school and be able to return the favor, helping other.
Friday, December 12, 2008
It seems like when it rains it pours. It is really quiet right now cuz the kids are finally with Josh. It is kinda bitter sweet when they are gone. One one hand it is nice to have some peace and quiet and be able to catch up on so many things that I need to get done. On the other hand I miss em
so much.
Jaxon had his Christmas program this week at day care and although it only lasted 15 min he was adorable. It is so fun to watch him sing "I'm gettin nuthin for Christmas". The girls also had a chior concert that was great. They are both growin up so fast. I tell em all the time that I need uglier daughters. I had one of the ladies in the ward come up to me at enrichment night and tell me how amazinly beautiful Savannah was when she was singing.
Christmas is goin to come and go to fast this year. There is so much going on that it seems we havent had time to really enjoy it much this year. I am hopin to spend this next week and the time before Christmas just chillin and tryin to get some more holiday spirit around here. Things need to slow down a bit I think. Hopefully we will have enough snow for our annual snow day on monday:)!
so much.
Jaxon had his Christmas program this week at day care and although it only lasted 15 min he was adorable. It is so fun to watch him sing "I'm gettin nuthin for Christmas". The girls also had a chior concert that was great. They are both growin up so fast. I tell em all the time that I need uglier daughters. I had one of the ladies in the ward come up to me at enrichment night and tell me how amazinly beautiful Savannah was when she was singing.
Christmas is goin to come and go to fast this year. There is so much going on that it seems we havent had time to really enjoy it much this year. I am hopin to spend this next week and the time before Christmas just chillin and tryin to get some more holiday spirit around here. Things need to slow down a bit I think. Hopefully we will have enough snow for our annual snow day on monday:)!
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